The Greatest Story Ever Told
by Live-Ruido
Summary: Gather 'round children, I'll tell you the tale of a special girl in the world of...Na..Ru..Toe? Is that how you pronounce it? Self-Insert/Songfic Parody.


Hey there everybody, just had an idea. A Breeder Blues update will come eventually.

* * *

It was the remote from Pleasantville

Isn't Ebay grand?

With this she had gone into all her favorite TV show. She didn't know how the remote worked, "Just point at the TV and press ENTER!" the device's tag had said; No more, no less. Regardless of how, it worked. She had collected all sorts of paraphernalia from all her favorite shows: She had pictures with Beavis and Butthead, a copy of Ben 10's Omnitrix, Scooby-Doo's dog collar, she had it all. But recently, she began to indulge in a new fetish: Anime.

Yes, she was now watching the latest in English dubbed anime, but one had recently struck her as exceptional, but not the English dubbed arcs. She saw him, and knew she would make him hers.

She was watching Naruto Shippuden, and Shikamaru was in her sights.

Quickly hurrying to her closet, she got her remote, pointed at the TV, and vanished.

She landed hard, right on top of the Hokage's Monument. Brushing herself off, she began to look down into the village, hopefully spotting her beloved.

忌々しい、どの位私達はここにいるなるか!

なぜとても面倒でなければの雄豚ならないか。

That voice…it had to be! Her beloved! Yes! Crafted by God herself and made flesh by the most amazing man ever, her…sayma? Is that how you pronounce it? Look, I'm just the narrator based off her thought process. I don't know how to say, kee…shi…moot…oh?

Come to think of it, if I don't speak Japanese, then neither does her, which would explain why she is hiding from Shikamaru and those other two at the moment.

What? She never cared for their names, why should I?

実際にこれを翻訳すれば、あなたの手のたくさんの時間がある。The blond girl boomed. Shikamaru scratched his head, apologizing quickly, この日本語を後方に翻訳しなさい、あなたのためのメッセージがある!

The fat one started laughing, それはそれにローションを皮置き、バスケットにローションを置く。

This was a problem, but not to worry, for through the awesome power of D-Batteries, she had away to solve this. She pointed the remote at the trio and pressed the DUB Button. The blonde one immediately snapped her mouth to produce a song. Birds flew in from everywhere as deer frolicked towards her as her voice soared ever higher to produce:

_Are you gonna take me home tonight?  
Ah down beside that red firelight.  
Are you gonna let it all hang out?  
Fat bottomed girls,  
You make the rockin world go round!_

Some…thing; Her eyes started looking around for a source of the problem while a guitar solo seemed quite happy to march out of her gaping mouth, before beginning another verse, with exuberance:

_Hey I was just a skinny lad  
Never knew no good from bad,  
But I knew life before I left my nursery.  
Left alone with big fat fanny,  
She was such a naughty nanny,  
Heap big woman you made a bad boy out of me!  
Hey hey!  
_

At this point, the unfortunate girl was trying to force her mouth shut, but to no avail. Shikamaru and the other one were even helping, pushing her jaw shut with all their might, but it just stayed open. Her lips weren't even moving for the words, she just stood perfectly still, and they just kept coming out.

_  
I've been singing with my band,  
Across the wire across the land,  
I seen every blue eyed floozy on the way.  
But their beauty and their style,  
Went kind of smooth after a while,  
Take me to them dirty ladies every time._

All this time, our heroine had been frantically looking for a solution from the remote. She finally found the MUTE button and slammed it in the blonde's direction. The girl continued to stand perfectly still, standing straight up, her mouth jammed open like a human bird-bath, which she may become if those animals don't stop frolicking around here.

Part of the invading girl though she should leave, lest she ruins something on the show, but Shikamaru was too much to miss. She got out from her hiding spot, walked straight up to the boy and pressed the SUBTITLE button.

Immediately she was on the floor, something was pinning her down. Crawling out the from under the thing, she saw that it was "what". A giant "what" had fallen out of the sky and slammed her into the ground, with "are", "you", and "doing". The question mark had fallen into blonde girl's mouth, who proceeded to stumble about while the fat one performed the Heimlich Maneuver, but who cares about them! She was here for her beloved! She turned off the subtitles to prevent future damages, but before she could persuade Shikamaru to ride the beast with two backs, the blonde girl, question mark free but still mute, had come up behind her and put a knife to our poor girl's neck. But just then, she hit the DUBBED button a second time, and this time it seemed to work.

"What do you think, Ino?" Shikamaru said calmly.

Ino began to scream, but was still muted, "Chouji?" Shikamaru asked.

"She's an outsider; possibly an invader." Chouji said. Ino continued to scream sweet nothings into the girl's ear.

"Well, nothing we can do, take her in."

So the girl was sent to jail, found guilty of entering Konoha illegally, and was sentenced to exile via catapult. She was never seen again, and that's the greatest story ever told.

"The end;" I said smiling to the children. They love this Nar-At-oo stuff, so I read them some story I found on the internet.

I've never heard kids cry so much.

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Fat Bottom Girls is by Queen. Hope you enjoyed it.


End file.
